PAIN.

 

stormy_seas_by_bkhook-d60s7o9In grade 6, we were learning what proverbs were. Our lovely English teacher used to write them on the black board, and ask for our perspective; there used to be an uncountable number of hilarious responses, quite an obvious result of a bunch of 10-12 year old gals trying to decipher proverbs. During such a class, one proverb sounded quite interesting to me. “EXPERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER”. Since it was a bit difficult for kids to describe what an experience is, our teacher explained it to us in the simplest manner. Roughly quoting her, “This saying is telling us that the best way we can learn a lesson is by encountering an incident by ourselves. Suppose you are seeing a lighted candle for the first time; you are in awe, you are curious to know how that wisp of flame is glowing so steadily. You touch the flame. And ouch! You burn your finger, and as a result, learn that fire is not something to be casually trifled with. Touching the flame out of curiosity and getting hurt is an experience, and therefore, this incident has taught you not to do it ever again.”

Fast forward 14 years. Here I am, living quite an uneventful existence. I’ve always had a flaw, and that is, procrastinating. I have tried to mend it, but in vain. The area in which I procrastinate is, I have difficulty waking up, until it’s too late. I thought I would improve over the years, but I didn’t. Just like the proverb, I have experienced a lot of hurdles due to this bad habit. I did learn my lesson, but I haven’t even tried to mend myself. Why is that so? I thought experiences made way for a Better person; but I am a big exception. Or have I given up on life and decided to become an escapist, just because I went through difficult phases? Only time will tell.

Image Source: Google Images

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A TINY SPECK OF DUST

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The title of this post is taken from a quote from legendary astronomer Carl Sagan’s description of our home planet, when he described the famous photograph, “A Pale Blue Dot”. The photo(below, Earth can be seen as a dot on the right side, suspended in a beam of light) was taken by Voyager 1, a space probe, when it was travelling towards interstellar space. I am ashamed to say that I did not know of this photograph until very recently, and as I read the description, my mere mortal thought processes were erased from my mind. It was like I was transformed into an alien being, who was looking up at an infinite void, filled with an occasional spark from a faraway celestial object. And there it was! Our home! But it was so tiny! Almost microscopic. And it made me feel negligible.

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The Earth , the place where there is so much conflict, war, grudge, jealousy, greed, lust, all of that is just a mere speck of dust! And we humans, are even smaller! Yet, how beautiful we are, however tiny our planet! We get to exist in an oblate spheroid, suspended in an endless black void, for a fraction of time compared to the universe’s clock, and it is fascinating. Instead of destroying, humanity must vow to preserve this beautiful planet. And it can be done now, or any day, because everyday is Earth day. Nothing is more beautiful than nature itself, and we should take care of her, as we can’t live without her, but she can.

The first two pictures were taken outside my apartment. I don’t know the names of the trees, or the flower, but they are beautiful. Standing under a large tree and feeling the cool breeze is almost therapeutic(except if a bird ejects droppings on you, now that’s a bummer), and I am sure many agree that flowers are nature’s most exquisite creations.

A Boulder Known As Despair

A HEAVENLY VIEW

 

I was never a very serious kid. I was a bit of an introvert, but with enough poking, I would engage in conversations with people, whether friends or elders. As a kid who was passionate about science and technology, space used to fascinate me. I remember I went to Gangtok with my parents, I was about 8. It was the month of August and so, torrential rain was an hourly issue. As rainfall affects mountainous regions quite adversely, we got stuck in our hotel because of a major landslide, that had blocked all roads. I was secretly relieved. My terrible motion sickness had made me too tired to sight see the beautiful hill station that day, so I though to myself, “Tomorrow, for sure!” It was dark before 5 p.m. The ambience was calm, except intermittent chirping of crickets. A few minutes past six, the lights went out; apparently the rain had caused the power cut, so, there we were, sitting in the silence, my mum flailing her hands over the sofa to find her bag which contained a torch. My dad was in the reception, I presume he went to enquire after the situation. Mum lit the torch and we locked our room, went downstairs cautiously, since we were wary of injuring ourselves in the dim light. I asked dad what happened; he answered, with his usual calm demeanour, that a transformer was damaged by a lightning strike and so, it will take some time for the power to come back on. Mum told her husband that she was going outside with me to sit on the benches on the lawn. I gleefully followed. I sat on the bench, and while my mum was conversing with a lady, I happened to look up at the night sky. I was awestruck, so much so that I couldn’t say anything. The view that was above me, couldn’t be described in any human language, it was out of this world, literally so! As a city dweller, I never bothered to look up at the night sky, as there was nothing to see, except the three brightest objects, Sun, Moon and Venus. I was wrong! Looking up, it felt like someone had removed a curtain and revealed an important secret to me! Never in my tiny 8 year old life, had I seen so many brilliant and glowing celestial bodies in the night sky! I thought what they showed us in the planetarium was just an animation, I never knew it was possible to see such a phenomenon in reality! And there was a wisp of white glowing dust scattered around the stars, stardust maybe? What was it? I suddenly broke off from the trance due to some random noise; then I shook my mum’s hand vigorously and exclaimed,”Look up, look up!!” She commented that it was beautiful, and went back to her conversation.

I was so enthralled by the majestic view that I had just witnessed, that it was difficult to get my mind off of it. That was the catalyst to my already curious brain. I returned home with mum and dad the day after, and I delved into whatever science books I had in my possession, to learn more about that wisp of stardust. I flipped through pages of the encyclopaedia, too impatient, and I came across a word in big bold letters- SPACE AND SPACE EXPLORATION. It had a picture of planet earth in the middle of the page, and a man was floating on top of the planet, wearing a giant white suit. I scanned the contents and came across a chapter called “The Night Sky”. I couldn’t wait to read it, but I did have some problems with understanding big words as you know, I was 8. I started to read, and there it was! Our planet was in a galaxy! And it was called the Milky Way, and that’s what I’d seen! Ah, Milky Way, it sounded like a delicious brand of chocolate. I was quite satisfied with my discovery. I knew I loved science, very much.

A PERSPECTIVE

Our mind is ever changing, just like the earth,

Full of seasons, warmth, and cold,

The only difference lies in it’s texture-

As for some, it’s easy to mould.

Like magnificent peaks and crevasses,

We all have our rise and fall..

If we drown in the abyss of negativity,

Our mind is lost…for once and for all.

People may laugh or jeer at us,

Tell us that we’re no good-

They may clap at our failures, and taunt our greatness,

But we shan’t back down, as they’d think we would!

So, let’s not mould our minds like flimsy earthenware,

Let us have opinions of our own..

Life was there, and in future, shall be-

What matters is whether your goodness shone.

-C.A

OBLIVION

If winter comes, can spring be far behind?

That is what they always say,

But a season and life cannot be the same-

Except that both feels cold and grey.

When life goes through it’s wintry phase,

The snow and blizzard gives you a chase;

You must run to protect yourself

From their clammy death like grip;

A frozen life is not at all easy,

It’s a deadly, nightmarish trip.

Winter in one’s life can be,

A loss of things dear to us-

From death of a loved one, to an accident,

Causing a dark and gloomy Xmas.

Time supposedly heals all wounds,

But that is the biggest lie!

They never say that time can’t rewind;

That, memories and scars stay till we die!

Why, oh why do I deserve this pain?

What great wrong have I done?

Why must I simply rely on hope and faith?

Which in reality, is just oblivion!

I have always envied plants and trees-

For their power to start anew every year.

But envy is not a good thing, but a sin, they say,

It brings disappointment, hatred and fear.

How can I ever be fearless?

For happiness has no guarantee!

I can’t help but be a sad and pessimist human,

People who have lost, will surely agree.

-Cecilia Aurora

HARNESSING MY HYPER IMAGINATIVE BRAIN BY SPILLING OUT MY THOUGHTS IN WRITING..

This is me. Just me, trying to sort myself out, mentally. I have been introspecting for quite a long time, in fact, for a couple of years. And I realised I was actually discovering myself in the process. There are sides to me, characteristics that I never knew I had. Something I’ve always loved, besides biology, is reading. Any book, any genre. Delving deep into the world of innumerable imaginative characters fascinated me to the core. It was a parallel universe, where I was the boss. Reality is a tough place; it has been, for the past five years, after I lost a loved one. I had lost all enthusiasm, zeal and energy after the devastating incident.  It’s astounding how one negative incident can totally erase every positive thing that’s existent in one’s life. Thankfully, my inner self, a soul called Cecilia Aurora told be to get back up, and start over. Know why? Because, life is too precious to just eat, drink and sleep. I am not everybody, I am somebody. Someone important with a purpose. So, here we go….

P.S Thanks Cecilia; I shall listen to you from now on. And stop being a dumb person.